Hello lovelies… what a weekend it has been! Yesterday, I completed the Great North Run for Versus Arthritis. It’s, therefore, likely that I’ll have spent most of the day on the sofa by the time this goes live; resting, recovering, sleeping and relieving my joints of the inevitable pain and swelling. However, today I’m talking about why online dating is the new thing and why you shouldn’t judge people for it.
Why is it such a big thing?
Now don’t get me wrong, online dating is in no way a new concept to grace the world. But, it is a lot more popular than it used to be… Why?
The modern world means that we live, breathe and rely on our mobile phones. Look around you… you see them wherever you go, whether it be taking photos; listening to music; scrolling social media; reading books, magazines or newspapers; and, of course, texting. I’ve seen many a video of people walking into lamp posts, into ponds or even into cars because they’ve been too focussed on their phones instead of what’s in front of them. It’s hardly surprising, then, that we look to our phones for our dating lives too. With apps like Tinder, Bumble, Happn, among many others, it’s all too easy to do so.
Dating’s not like it used to be. A lot has changed in the last century. Long gone are the days where a woman’s parents would pick her husband-to-be (in most countries anyway). Disappeared have the times of formality, the times of courtship and the times of following “proper protocol”. Instead, it’s been replaced with casual dating; texting as a form of communicating; and swiping left or right based on an online profile.
So why, in a society where technology is becoming a major player, do we judge others? Feel ashamed and embarrassed by it? Do what we can to conceal it? An ex and I met through Bumble. We had an instant click, both on texting and upon meeting. But, when things became official, rather than telling people the truth about how we met, we told them it was through a mutual friend. Why? Because we didn’t want to listen to the comments, the snide remarks or answer the inevitable questions.
Is it because online dating is still a new thing, in terms of openly talking about it? Is it because we hear bad stories about it; cat fishing, deceiving, stalking? Who really knows. But, in all the bad we hear about it, there’s a lot more good. It allows access to a greater number of prospective partners; allows us to cut out those we feel are incompatible early instead of wasting our time; and allows us to determine what someone’s real intentions are (for the most part, at least). It’s especially helpful for those who may be anxious in social or new situations, for introverts and for those who don’t hold a great deal of confidence. Getting to know someone beforehand can greatly reduce the awkwardness of the situation.
Making it the norm
With all of this in mind, how do we expect anything but online dating to be the norm? I mean, unless you’re childhood, teenage or uni sweethearts, where are we expected to find the time, much less places to happen upon somebody. Sure it can be dangerous, but there are steps you can take – meeting in public places, telling someone where you’re going, not ignoring any gut instincts. So, that being said, STOP shaming others for their choice to date online. STOP being ashamed for online dating. Talk about it. Own it. I know I am.
Do you date online? Do you have any funny or success stories? Let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear about it!
Have a great week,