Life Update | Single Life, Mental Health and Self-Worth

Goooood Morning AJ’ers! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? It’s one of the reasons why I thought I’d give you all a little life update and let you know why I disappeared for a little while. So, today, I’ll be talking about single life, mental health, self-worth and why I’m looking ahead to the future.

Living the single life…

Yes, you did read that correctly… no, you don’t need to go for an eye test. I won’t be going into the details of it all too much as, in the famous words of this year’s Love Islanders, it is what it is. That chapter of my life is now closed and people’s happiness is what remains important at the end of the day. Neither of us regret the time we had together but now it’s time to look to the future and move forward as friends.

As you can imagine, the last six months have been a complete whirlwind. Single life meant that I was on the move again back in February/March time. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll have seen the chaos of the process on my stories, but I’m pleased to say that Myla and I are fully settled into this “new” flat (having been here for 6 months, I can’t really class it as new anymore, can I?) and, quite frankly, I’m loving having a place to call my own.

Since moving out of my parents to go to uni, this is the first time I’ve lived on my own. It’s A LOT better than I thought it would be. With, surprisingly, so much more space than previously, I’ve loved putting my stamp on the place. Arranging my furniture how I think best; buying new furniture to fill the spaces; purchasing homely bits and pieces to keep making it cosier and cosier.

Single life means a lot more lone/free time and, boy, have I made the most of it. It has been nice catching up with all of my friends regularly over the last few months, whether that be in person, phone calls or even just text. There was a period of time where, as my friends and family know, I wasn’t in the house very often. Myla must have thought I was a ghost of her imagination when I was in! However, things are beginning to slow down now and, actually, I’m grateful. I’ve had the chance to enjoy some me time!

I’m not going to lie to you and say it’s been sunshines and rainbows all the time. Sometimes it can get lonely, especially when plans get cancelled at the last minute. But I come to appreciate these situations. Why? Because it gives me some chill time, which I sometimes forget to give myself. In those times, I make sure to do the things I love; whether that be reading, watching films, catching up on TV series, cross-stitching or blogging. There’s always something. When I don’t fancy any of these, there’s friends and family just a phone call, message or social media app away.

Let’s talk mental health…

It’s something I have talked about, do talk about and will continue to talk about. As I, and many others, have said previously, it’s something we need to normalise talking about; encourage others to speak about; and support each other.

Considering what the opening months of 2019 had in store for me, no-one would be surprised if my mental health had taken a hit. However, the reality of it was quite the opposite… remember my previous post. As mentioned above, I was going out with friends and colleagues; moving house; spending time with family; and enjoying the freedom and independence. Despite everything, I was holding my own and keeping my head above water…

Until the end of May/beginning of June.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

Marilyn Monroe

Suddenly, my mental health took a complete nose-dive, very much out of the blue. I couldn’t see a way out. I didn’t understand… I’d been completely fine for the past three or four months, so why now? My family were worried; my friends were worried; even I was worried. I’m the type of person to avoid doctors and hospitals at all costs, sometimes to the point of being bull-headed. I am a Taurus after all. But, even I knew it was what I needed.

After several appointments, theories and blood test, it turns out I have a Vitamin D and Folic Acid deficiency. Symptoms of these include: fatigue, lethargy, memory issues, hair loss, as well as depression. With a double deficiency, it’s little wonder I’d dropped as far as I had. However, with a prescription of strong dose tablets for both of these, I’m finally out the other side. I had a blood test on Thursday, so I’ll know for sure, but I should hopefully be moving to over-the-counter vitamins soon.

It’s true what they say; you need to hit rock bottom to appreciate your highs. You need to break, so you can press the reset button, and start again. It made me realise that, for a long while, I was just surviving. Now? I’m thriving. I am at my happiest I’ve ever been, and long may it continue.

I now realise my self-worth. I won't make the mistake of forgetting again.

Knowing your self-worth…

Let’s start with a definition of self-worth:

Self-worth is the opinion you have about yourself and the value you place on yourself.

YourDictionary

Self-worth is important because, without it, we’d end up settling for less than we deserve. It’s about learning what makes you you. It’s about embracing your uniqueness. It is about who you are, not about what you do.

Just as hitting rock bottom made me realise my complete happiness and freedom, it also reminded me of my self-worth. It reminded me that I need to stop comparing myself to others and it reminded me that everything I do should be because I want to. I know, now, that I am worth a lot more than I give myself credit for. I won’t make that mistake again.

Never sacrifice your self worth for someone who has none. Let them have the gutter whilst you take the high road.

Lydia Millen

Do you know your own worth? If not, here’s a few tips to help you:

  1. Love yourself: easier said than done, I know. However, make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Keep adding to the list. Go back and read your list from time to time, to keep yourself reminded.
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others: you are you for a reason. If you were supposed to be someone else, you would be. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you start to realise just how great you are.
  3. Surround yourself with good people: if you surround yourself with negative people, it can encourage negative thoughts and feelings about yourself… Meaning good people encourage positive thoughts and attitudes.
  4. Congratulate yourself for your achievements, however small: celebrate your wins, little or big. It makes you feel good about yourself on a regular basis.
  5. Take time out for yourself: everyone needs some me time. Schedule some much needed chill time to do the things you love, whether that be reading, blogging, sleeping, walking, etc.
Everyone needs some me time. Schedule some much needed chill time to do the things you love, whether that be reading, blogging, sleeping, walking, etc.

Looking to the future…

So, now we all know I’m single, happy and worthy, where does that leave me moving forward? I’ve set myself a few goals for the remainder of 2019:

  • Continue my fitness journey and keep making progress
  • Continue catching up with friends on a regular basis, even just by text
  • Post more regularly on Simply AJ and Instagram
  • Get back into reading
  • Cross-stitch more and finish current projects
  • Get out and travel more

So, that’s it for now. I can’t wait to check back in at the end of the year to see how well I’ve done with these. For now, it’s all about being me, doing me and loving me.


Are you going to try and do the same? What are your goals for the rest of 2019? Let me know down below! I’d love to hear them.

Love,

Abbie @ simplyaj.co.uk

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Self-worth is important because, without it, we'd settle for less than we deserve. Today, I'm digging deeper into it & providing tips to improve yours.
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14 Comments

  1. Nan
    August 5, 2019 / 8:52 am

    Such wisdom for a young one nobody knows what you go through until you reach rock bottom you reached and came through sweetie and it’s wonderful to see you relaxed and enjoying life more grist to your mill my lovely stay safe and well love you lots xxx

    • August 14, 2019 / 8:55 am

      Thanks Nan! It’s been a rocky road, but coming out the other side makes it all the more sweeter! Love you lots!😘♥️

  2. August 5, 2019 / 9:09 am

    So glad to see you back!!! Your flat looks great and I’m so happy for you! Amy xxx

    • August 14, 2019 / 8:58 am

      Thanks sweetness!😘 It’s really good to be back… feeling more motivated than ever!
      The flat certainly looks a lot better than when you last saw it, for sure🤣 Hope you’re feeling much better now! xxx

  3. August 5, 2019 / 1:57 pm

    I never thought of doing a list of thing I love about myself. I should really do that. I agree that we need to normalise writing about mental health which is among my 2019 resolutions. I love doing it and will continue on doing so.

    For the rest of 2019, I needed to really do more for my fitness. and be discipline with it. I keep putting that on hold and it’s already August.

    // afifahaddnan.com

    • August 14, 2019 / 8:59 am

      It’s one that many people have commented on saying they hadn’t thought about it. The list might start off small, but it does keep growing and growing.

      It’s never to late to start! I went for a few weeks without doing it, and found it really hard to get back into it. Once I did though, I remembered why I started in the first place!

  4. August 5, 2019 / 6:22 pm

    Sounds like you’ve been through a lot but it’s so great that you’re making the most of this new chapter in your life and maintaining such a positive outlook. Great tips for knowing your own self-worth too!

    Emily x puttheworldtowrites.co.uk

    • August 14, 2019 / 9:33 am

      Thank you! It’s sure been a rollercoaster of a year, but the only way is up from here right?🙌🏼

  5. Call The Medical Reg
    August 5, 2019 / 9:51 pm

    Good post and glad to hear you’ve come out the other side and thriving. You’ve reminded me that I need to review what my goals are to achieve by the end of 2019.

    • August 14, 2019 / 9:35 am

      Thank you! I always think setting some goals around the mid-year point is beneficial… it helps you focus on where you’re heading and also allows a more realistic time frame compared to, say a year, where goals might feel unachievable because there’s an overwhelming amount of time to do it! Good luck making your list.

  6. August 6, 2019 / 12:22 pm

    It sounds like you’ve adapted to single life brilliantly and also living on your own! I’ve never lived on my own and I’m in a LT relationship so unless anything happened there, I doubt I ever will. And I kinda hate that because I would have loved to have the experience of living alone!

    • August 14, 2019 / 9:38 am

      Aww man! I mean, I hope nothing ever happens where you find out… but I never realised what I was missing! It’s amazing just how much more I’m now getting done by living on my own.

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